The Mad Butcher

My Dungeon Crawler Carl Character

Much like the rest of the world the Dungeon Crawler Carl series has me in a chokehold. I’ve read a lot of good novels, comics, and manga, but few have had the effect on me this series has. I must admit I was reluctant to start reading it, but holy shit am I glad I did.

My friends Gabe and Melanie had been trying to convince me for a while. It’s not that I thought they had bad taste or anything like that. It’s just so many times in the past when someone tells me something is “the best thing ever” it never is. It’s usually good, but not mind blowing and I end up let down.

This not only lives up to the hype, but I am kind of low key obsessed now… I usually don’t do book series, but now I’m on book five and only started a few months ago. I’ve found myself staying up late to listen to more and sitting in parking lots to finish chapters..

I won’t go into why I love it so much. I’ll save that for another day. Honestly I will probably be writing a lot of things about and around Dungeon Crawler Carl. In fact I’m sure a lot of you are here because of Dungeon Crawler Carl and have no idea who I am.

No worries! Let me introduce myself quickly, my name is Austin Allen Hamblin. I am a professional journalist and comic book writer who loves to write weird shit. I’m best known for Big Guns Stupid Rednecks. If I was a crawler this is who I’d be..

NEW ACHIEVEMENT YOU’VE JUST DISCOVERED YOUR NEW FAVORITE WRITER. REWARD PREPARE TO BE ENTERTAINED.

The Mad Butcher Austin Allen Hamblin:

Every night I struggle to fall asleep. I lay in bed and toss and turn. My mind always wanders. For years I’ve done this thing… It is one of my favorite things to do and I realize now (after years of therapy) it is a coping mechanism I use to escape.

I put myself, friends, and honestly anyone real or not into fantastic worlds. I’d reimagine them to fit into whatever universe it is. I’ve done everything from Superheroes to anime to pro wrestling to Pokemon. I really like doing this because it helps me unwind and not dwell on the bad thoughts.

Dungeon Crawler Carl is very much a Dungeons and Dragons inspired world. I love Dungeons and Dragons, but I also have a flair for the odd. While I’ve imagined myself in a D and D world before, this world is different. The Dungeon Crawler Carl universe combines the two and really customizes what a person can become. The system A.I. helping to push you towards things is such a brilliant idea.

I cut meat in one way shape or form for about six years. I cut meat in a grocery store, on a farm, in a packing plant, and at a local locker. Being a butcher or meat cutter is kind of a dying breed. I’ve noticed over the years when meeting people at conventions they might not remember my name when I see them next, but they always remember I was a butcher.

Even though I write comics this seems to be the most interesting thing about me to most people. Using knives is extremely fitting for this universe, but I managed to add some things to make it more me.

Cutting up corpses is pretty metal I do have to admit.. So is knowing what death smells like. Holy fuck that is disturbing. Let’s move on now…

My Origin Story:

The trick to making this work is to have me lean towards the butcher stuff from the very beginning of the story. The best way to do this would be to have me start with the tools. I’d be outside with my knife travel bag when the world collapses. I’d be on my way to go help someone process a deer they got while hunting.

Inside my knife bag would be several different knives including a cleaver, some boning knives, and different sized breaking knives as well as a honing steel and my portable knife sharpener. Since I was going to help butcher I’d also be wearing my waterproof boots, and jeans.

Most came into the stairwell without bringing anything, but if everything had collapsed around me and I happened to have a bag full of knives with me you bet your ass I wouldn’t be getting rid of them.

On the first floor everyone faced something different and low level. I think with all of this I would be well equipped to survive with boots, and weapons. I’m not trying to make myself a badass hence why I’d need to be set up to succeed. Not everyone can enter Dungeon Crawler World in their underwear and shoeless only to climb to the top of the leader boards..

Abilities:

As time would go on I’d gain abilities, but they all wouldn’t be tied to butchering. When you look at each of the main characters in Dungeon Crawler Carl they honestly get a really good range of magic and attacks. This works perfectly making the characters so interesting and their strategies unpredictable.

While most people would think my abilities would somehow be related to comic books since I’m so obsessed with them, I’m going a different route. I struggle with my mental health and I highly doubt I’d be able to get meds or do therapy while inside the dungeon (though that would be hilarious). So my abilities would be tied to my mental health.

Depressive Shell: This would grant me literal immortality for a half hour… but for that half hour I wouldn’t be able to move. I’ve be mentally sent to a pit of despair (think of like what Itachi does in Naruto) for a half hour while my body is left fully able to be moved or looted (only things I’m wearing, not anything in my inventory).

This could make for some hilarious situations. After using the ability I could wake up naked in a forest. The NPCs I was battling got tired of trying to kill me after 10 minutes so they stole my clothes and took off.

Another fun thing could be if someone in my party was extremely large and strong. They would use my indestructible body as a weapon swinging it around or as a shield.

Manic Adrenaline: When activated this ability will temporarily double all of my stats, but will cut my intelligence to ¼ of what it normally is. Basically I get the adrenaline rush, but it gives me anxiety, impairing my judgement.

Blood Lust: Early on during the dungeon my shirt keeps getting destroyed. The viewers think my furry nipples are hilarious so I end up with the blood lust ability. When the blood of an enemy touches my skin my attacks increase by 10% for 2 minutes from it touching my skin. With each new drop the clock resets. This incentivises me to fight shirtless so I have more area open to be splattered on.

Black Hole Grinder: This would be when I get way far along… I could open a black hole to a giant meat grinder in the ground. It’s instant death for anything which goes inside. Each time I use it I must remain within 5 feet of it and if no living creatures go inside after five minutes I will be sacrificed. There will be more on this when I get to my religious affiliation…

Gear:

Of course I’d use all the things I came in with and I’d upgrade my butchering stuff. I would definitely sport an apron for a while and maybe a harinet. I’ll just cover the bad ass items.

Blood Stained Jeans: This isn’t really a bad ass item, but I wanted to include it. It would be cool if my jeans somehow kept surviving through each floor. It would have cuts and rips, but would slowly become red from all the blood.

Back Splitter Cleaver: Most people don’t know what the purpose of a cleaver is. It is a heavy duty blade with some weight to it which is used to break through bones. It’s mostly been rendered obsolete since the invention of the electric bandsaw. Before chainsaws and bandsaws there were these huge cleavers with massive blades and a handle you need to use two hands to wield. This was used to break through the back and split it in two (halves of beef). I would get a giant one of these to fuck shit up.

Chainsaw Arms: So I would have to end up with a chainsaw, but eventually it would upgrade to something even cooler. My hand would go in and I’d have chainsaw arms. It would be similar to what Chainsaw Man has.

Pets:

I currently have two cats and they FUCKING HATE LEAVING THE HOUSE. I don’t really see any way they would survive and make it into the dungeon, but for fun I want to include what they would be like before I get to the pet I’d actually have.

Bella: No one will ever love me as much as this cat does. I don’t know exactly why, but I have always been her person. I rescued her and another cat with my ex-wife, but Bella has always been my cat. She is a cutie, but extremely shy. If she made it into the dungeon she loves me so much she would always be following me, but would hide. She would eventually get the ability to turn invisible. I don’t want to say this next part, but it would make a very interesting thing in the story if she saves me only to get killed because if either of my cats got murdered in front of me IT WOULD BREAK ME (Sorry Carl).

General: General likes me, but she is a whore and likes everyone. If you come to my house she will be rubbing on your legs within minutes. If you sit down she will be rolling around in your lap getting all of your attention. While I got Bella as a kitten, General is from the streets. She was about 4-5 years old. She is friendly, but had to survive outside so she’s not afraid to fuck shit up. I toyed with the idea of her gaining the ability to turn into a jungle cat, but I think it’s better if she grows to the size of a jungle cat. She always tries to get foes to pet her and attacks them if they don’t. We learned this the hard way from some NPCs (sorry kitty needs love).

Burger: I would get Burger from a fan-box. Burger shows up as a little cow the size of a cat who is terrified of me because he knows what I did to all of his brethren. I have to win him over and gain his trust. Leveling him up would be a bitch, but he would eventually grow into a giant horned bull I could ride into battle wielding my chainsaw arm.

Religious Affiliation:

I would worship a bull god named Beefy who is pleased I have changed my ways and no longer kill cattle and only other creatures. He recruits me after seeing me save Burger in his presence. He gifts me with the Black Hole Meat Grinder spell. After joining I can no longer eat beef or anything from a hoofed beast.

Shows:

When I start doing shows all the aliens care about is meat from Earth. So I keep getting brought on to talk about different cuts. My sponsor would be a meat seller who has a planet of humanoid like creatures it sells off as meat. I have conflicted feelings about them because they send rad stuff….

So what do you think of the Mad Butcher? I think it works and it was a lot of fun to come up with. What would your character be? Comment below!